tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7882695509624109517.post6893193755687072600..comments2023-06-03T03:02:08.174-05:00Comments on Glints of Light: Breaking BreadKellyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14004066681723347094noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7882695509624109517.post-41596337545460863352010-05-03T08:54:55.439-05:002010-05-03T08:54:55.439-05:00Thanks, Prosen. I actually had a paragraph of desc...Thanks, Prosen. I actually had a paragraph of description, but it was taking me somewhere I didn't want to go. So I cut it without working it back in.<br /><br />You may beg to differ with me on this, but I've not ever written something where nearly every sentence needed more explanation. I feel that this piece cries loudly for more. Even I find myself saying, "Wait a minute! That needs to be explained!"<br /><br />One of these days.Laurenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05865509490449761298noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7882695509624109517.post-37414420377211720952010-05-03T08:34:34.791-05:002010-05-03T08:34:34.791-05:00I really like the line about the communal daughter...I really like the line about the communal daughter as well as the idea of our lives as a succession of communities. <br /><br />You're right. More. <br /><br />I also think that I would like a different introduction--perhaps a description of the place itself? You don't have to go all Umberto Eco on it, but I don't have a real sense of concreteness to the place.Kellyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14004066681723347094noreply@blogger.com